*Originally posted in September 2015 – current day reflections added to the end To breastfeed or bottle feed…that is the question. It seems like no “mommy war” is fought more vehemently than this one. Over and over again we hear “breast is best” from our doctors, from our mothers, from our friends, from groups specifically designed to support breastfeeding. This…
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Domestic Diaries – Confessions from a Mother of 5
*Text as originally posted in 2018. I’ve added additional comments to the bottom that reflect current life. I have been told, on occasion, I appear like a person who has it all together – domestically speaking. People walk through my living room and gaze at the large photo wall filled with smiling children in coordinating outfits and wonder “how does…
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Silent Suffering in the House of the Lord
There is a song that frequents the radio with a chorus that repeats the refrain “There is joy in the house of the Lord, there is joy in the house of the Lord today. And we won’t be quiet, we shout out your praise.” I love this song for many reasons, but mostly because it captures the essence of how…
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What’s your “Green Ring?”
It brought to mind situations from my past that I am only now able to fully appreciate with the clarity and understanding that comes from hindsight and maturity and made me wonder how differently things might have gone had I only exercised more patience or discernment.
Return of the Words
An unexpected pregnancy caused me to pretty suddenly hang up my running shoes. I tried to keep going, but after those early few weeks my body just couldn’t manage it any longer and I had to let it go. As my life circumstances changed and things became more complicated in my personal life, I found it harder and harder to quiet the noise in my mind. I was swirling down a drain, circling and circling, but couldn’t find the way back up. The words were gone. And rather than sharing my suffering, I was drowning in it. God felt distant and there was just nothing. So much nothing. I believe this is what the professionals refer to as writer’s block.
Sovereign Over Us
This is it. I’m going to die.” With my eyes squeezed tightly and my hands gripping the wheel, I braced my body for impact and repeated that one refrain over and over in my mind. “I’m going to die.” The sickening crunch of metal followed by an explosion that rang like a gunshot muted my screams and as the van spun around and around I waited to feel the final sting of death.
