How many times have you ever introduced yourself as “___’s mom”…You probably didn’t’ even notice it. Or that time you recognized another mom across the playground and yelled over, “Oh Hey, you’re ___’s mom, right?”
Something happens to us when we become mothers. From the moment those babies emerge from our bodies we begin to identify ourselves through them. This instinctual need to put them above all else and completely give ourselves over to making sure they have the world at their fingertips – that they have it better than we had – that nothing gets in the way of their happiness or success – we make a choice to put ourselves last and they become first. Their needs. Their hopes. Their dreams. We love them so much that it hurts. Literally. Sometimes it even means pushing away and isolating our family. Our friends. Our spouse. We tell ourselves this is only “a season” and that they need us more. They demand more. Surely everyone else will understand. And “we” can certainly wait.
But somewhere in between the sleepless night, the diaper changes, never ending feeding schedules, all the boo boos and potty training, tantrums, school projects, ballet classes, soccer games, or even college applications, we lost ourselves. We discovered that our “season” of motherhood never ends. It only changes. We may not have even realized it was happening, but at some point we threw up the white flag and surrendered ourselves. We let go of our hopes. And our dreams.
Our identity outside of “mom” ceased to exist.
And although I treasure this time with my babies more that words could ever say, the more I dive into His word, the more I am discovering that this feeling of losing myself for the sake of my kids is not how God intended it to be. He created us Wonderfully. Uniquely.
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14
I am learning there is so much more. Each of us was designed with a specific purpose in mind.
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
God gives us the example of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. While it is clear she was a mother, that is not why she was honored. She was considered a rare treasure because of everything that made her, her. She was a mother. A wife. A businesswoman. She was kind. Thoughtful. Generous. Wise. Her hands were “never idle”…
God made us mothers to enhance us. To challenge us. To stretch us. To teach us. To show us love and compassion and sacrifice in a way we otherwise would never be able to understand. God made us mothers to reveal more of Himself and to draw us closer.
So if you ever find yourself feeling “just”…remember,
You have amazing gifts and talents and passions and qualities within you that make you so tremendously special.
You are the only you there is and you are a gift to this world.
No one thinks like you. Or feels like you. No one loves like you. No one can do what you can do. No one has your same passions. No one has your same callings. No one is able to accomplish God’s plan for you – except you!
Becoming a mother changes you, but it doesn’t change who God made you to be.
You are never “just a mother”.
You are a mother. Wife. Sister. Friend. Writer. Teacher. Runner. Organizer. Business woman. Accountant. Artist. Musician. Police officer. Nurse. Doctor. Government worker. Baker. Barista. Homemaker. Lawyer. Journalist. Traveler. Thinker. Planner. You are an encourager. You are a champion.
Being a mother isn’t’ what defines us. Our identity isn’t found in motherhood.
Our identity is in who God created us to be.
Motherhood is simply another part of our whole. Another part of the process God uses to shape us into better versions of ourselves. Smoothing out our edges. Making us love more. Giving us more compassion. More patience. Kindness. Meekness. Showing us grace as He teaches us to show grace.
please hear me when I say, Everything about you matters.
Who we were before we became mothers is just as much a part of who we are and who we are meant to be after our children are born.
Sometimes I think we need a reminder. To look in the mirror and introduce ourselves, with our own name, right to our reflections. To remember that God has placed a passion inside of us and He expects us to use it.
Because what we sometimes forget is our children are watching us. They are watching how we use the gifts we have been given. They see our passions. Our Devotion. They learn how to serve by watching us serve. They learn to be who God made them to be, by watching us be who God made us to be.
So yes, I am Avery, Lilly, Landen, Easton & Daxton’s mother.
And most of my days are spent taking care of my home and my family
But my name is Cory.
And I am also a runner.
so I run.
And I’m a writer.
So I write.
I’m a devoted wife.
So I go on dates with my husband and make him feel his worth to me.
I’m a friend.
So I invest time in strengthening those relationships.
I am a teacher.
so I teach.
I am a singer.
so I sing.
If I can offer any wisdom from my almost 40 years it’s this, never be less than YOU! All of you. The YOU that God created you to be. Boldly. Bravely. With all of the amazing abilities He bestowed upon you. Don’t waste one more day with your volumes of unique gifts gathering dust on a library shelf.
Because there is only one you.
And He knows every amazing thing about you, right down to the number of hairs on your head, and not one ounce of His creation in you is wasted.
It all matters.
It is all you.